Sometimes SEO tactics are so blatantly and universally good or bad that even my cats know the right way to proceed. This column finally gives voice to their feline optimization talents.

Scooter: A mellow gray tabby best known for his clever multiphrase title tag optimizations. He epitomizes the slow and steady progress that is SEO. He’s loyal as the day is long with his old friends but tends to hide from new people, putting him at a disadvantage in the new world of search and social.

Cricket: A neurotic brown tortie/tabby mix best known for her focused “less is more” philosophy. She feels compelled to pluck extraneous repetitive fluff from pages of content much the same as she obsessively pulls the fur from her underbelly. Her OCD tendencies make her a rock star with search analytics and keyword research.

Mittens: A burly orange tabby equally likely to flop down on your lap like a purring boneless chicken as to bite you. He’s sadly afflicted with an obsession for chasing things, like mylar cat toys, little green pixels and algorithm changes. But he’s young. He’ll grow out of it. And in the meantime, his energy, outgoing nature and enthusiasm make him an excellent ethical link builder.

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